Politics Made Simple...Sort of

Years ago, Ann Landers gave a simplified lesson in economics.

Or was it politics?

She was asked to explain the difference between communism, socialism, and fascism. Here’s her timeless explanation:

Socialism: You have two cows. Give one cow to your neighbor.
Communism: You have two cows. Give both cows to the government, and they might give you some of the milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. You give all of the milk to the government, and the government sells it.
Nazism: You have two cows. The government shoots you and takes both cows.
Anarachism: You have two cows. Keep both of the cows, shoot the government agent and steal another cow.
Capitalism: You have two cows. Sell one cow and buy a bull.
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government makes you take harmonic lessons.

And then there’s Havilandism: You find a time portal and travel back in time. You 'borrow' a cow for a year, being careful not to be caught, tried, and hanged as a thief; introduce Bessie to a friendly bull for a night of responding to natural urges; return the calf back to the original owner, saying the fairies changed it; keep the cow and use her milk to make cheese, selling it as having magical properties; then finally, leave instructions for your heirs to invest in General Electric, American Telephone and Telegraph, gold and silver.

Life is so much easier when we know what tomorrow brings, when we only have to worry about each other and wayward cows, not governments. A letter and video from the past might help, too. It made a big difference to James and Leah in Aye, I am a Fairy, the second book in my time travel series The Fairies Saga.


But, wherever you are, and whatever politics you have to live with, make the best of it. And have a slice of cheese with it.

Enjoy!
Dani Haviland www.danihaviland.com

Aye, I am a Fairy Buy on Amazon

Do you Love Christmas??

ENTER HERE!

Calling all Christmas lovers!

Do you love the music of the holiday season? If so, the Authors’ Billboard needs your attention! This coming 2016 Christmas, twenty of our authors—New York Times and USA Today Bestsellers—will be putting together a multi-author box collection of brand new, never before published stories to dazzle everyone, but we require your participation.

The title of our collection will be LOVE, CHRISTMAS and the theme of this bundle will be Christmas carols. We want to use YOUR favorite holiday songs. If you and your song title are chosen, one of the 20 novellas will be dedicated to you.

Sound like fun? Please enter the contest by naming your special carols in the contest entry form.

http://freshfiction.com/contest.php?id=8118

You may enter as many times as you like. So what are you waiting for?

Here's what the winners will receive:

1. Twenty winners will have his/her favorite song chosen as the title and possibly the theme for one of the novellas.
2. That particular story will be dedicated to the winner— twenty in total.
3. And the winners will receive a free copy of the box set (eBook only).

 Ho, ho, ho! And good luck!

The authors involved in this great contest are:
Leanne Banks - NY Times & USAToday, National #1 Best-selling author

Mimi Barbour - NY Times & USA Today, Best-selling author 

Nina Bruhns - NY Times & USA Today, Best-selling author

Joan Reeves - NY Times & USAToday, Best-selling author

Mona Risk - NY Times & USA Today, Best-selling author

Patricia Rosemoor - NY Times & USA Today, Best-selling author

Rebecca York - NY Times & USA Today, Best-selling author

Denise Devine - USA Today, Best-selling author

Donna Fasano - USA Today,Best-selling author

Traci Hall - USA Today,Best-selling author

Taylor Lee - USA Today,Best-selling author

 Stephanie Queen - USA Today,Best-selling author

 Jennifer St. Giles - USA Today,Best-selling author

 Alicia Street – USA Today,Best-selling author

 Ari Thatcher - USA Today,Best-selling author

Rachelle Ayala - Best-selling author

Jacquie Biggar - Best-selling author

Michele Hauf - Best-selling author

 Dani Haviland - Best-selling author

Nancy Radke - Best-selling author

Beware the Ides of March!

“Beware the Ides of March”

What in the heck does Ides mean?

It means the 15^th day of March, May, July or October in the ancient Roman calendar, but usually refers to the Ides of March (March 15). 

It’s not a holiday, but ‘Beware the Ides of March’ rings a bell with many: it was the warning given to Julius Caesar by a soothsayer in William Shakespeare’s play Julius Caesar. 

If there were actual warnings, they weren’t recorded, but Shakespeare made the date a mind-sticker.

In case you’re wondering, moments later Caesar succumbed to twenty-three stab wounds, assassinated by his fellow senators, jealous of his power, right there in the Roman Senate. I guess they hadn’t thought of impeachment yet.

But that’s ancient world history. Old news.

Does the Ides of March mean anything in American history? You bet it does!

Here’s an excerpt from Naked in the Winter Wind about that date. Our time traveling heroine, Evie, has amnesia but does remember her history. She explains it to Sarah, a fellow time traveler.

“The Ides of March wasn’t just a bad day for Caesar,” I said. “It was the day of the big battle at Guilford Courthouse. We didn’t, or won’t, win this one.”

“Oh, crap,” Sarah said.

“I remembered it when you told me today’s date. Mac named one of the boys after Nathanael Greene. He was, or rather is, a great general. He’s going to turn the tide of the war with this battle. We won’t win it—but neither do the British, really. From this battle on, we’re in charge and, well, you know we’ll be victorious in the end. I wish I could do something to help us win this one, but I don’t know what I—we—could possibly do. I do think we’d better tell Jody about it, though.”

“That, my dear, is the only thing I’m sure we should do.”

I don't know if Romans made a holiday out the date as we did with 4th of July, but the Ides of March does have a nice ring to it. Maybe next year at this time we can celebrate the death of Daylight Savings Time. A new American holiday. Let's lift a mug in celebratory anticipation.

Read more about Evie and her interaction with Revolutionary War battles and encounters with Red Coats in Naked in the Winter Wind, first book in The Fairies Saga series.

Naked in the Winter Wind

 

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What is Leap Day?

What is Leap Day?

Short answer: February 29.

Scientific answer (sort of): Every year, calendar folks grab the surplus 5 hours 48 minutes and 45 seconds that accumulate annually with the earth’s orbit around the sun, and stash them somewhere where we can’t see them. You see, it takes the Earth approximately 365.242189 days to circle the sun. Those spare hours need to be placed somewhere, so they’re gathered up, held in time-out or a safety deposit box or something, and after four years, the calendar crew compacts them into a full day, and sticks them at the end of the shortest month, February. This is done because, so far, no one has been able to put those hours, minutes, and seconds into a pretty desktop or wall calendar.

Folks have known about this time discrepancy for thousands of years, at least since the Egyptians. Finally, in 45 BCE, Julius Caesar did something about it. He (or one of his advisers) created the Julian calendar system and included one Leap Day every four years. Without it, 100 years down the road, the solstices and equinoxes would be off by 24 days, and farmers wouldn’t know when to plant their peas and potatoes.

Oh, and those few extra seconds add up, too. Pope Gregory XIII and his astronomers—who introduced the Gregorian calendar in 1582, replacing Caesar’s self-named calendar—decided we needed to lose three Leap Days every 400 years. So, Leap Years are years divisible by 100, but not 400. That little tweak took care of most of the leftover seconds from the formula, but not all of them. In 10,000 years, someone else will have to do another adjustment. But we won't be around then, so really don't need to be concerned.

Oh, and the very unscientific, but traditional explanation of Leap Day: It’s the day a woman may ask a man to marry her or go to the Sadie Hawkins Dance… As if a bold woman ever needed a special day for that!

So, enjoy the extra day in February this year. And if he’s the right man for you, ask him out. But be prepared to pay. This is the 21st century, after all.

Naked in the Winter Wind

Where - and when - was she? And was this mountain man really her husband?
Naked in the Winter Wind, first book in The Fairies Saga, the tale of time travelers who pop back and forth between the 18th century and current times.
Amazon: http://amzn.to/1j3QtxY
Nook: http://bit.ly/1KA7UV5
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When I was a kid: phones

I realized how much phones have changed when I found out my granddaughter didn’t know how to unplug a phone jack. She didn’t even know what one was! Phones have always been wireless for her.

When I was a kid back in the 60s, the telephone company had to come to your house to set up a phone. The man brought the phone for you and even put a little tab with your phone number right in the middle of the rotary dial. Current phones don't even have a spot for this.

Standard issue rotary dial telephone

Phones weren’t available for purchase, either. You had to rent them. Basic black was the standard. If you wanted something pretty (like this pretty pink princess phone) or a wall phone, you had to pay an extra charge every month.

Pretty in pink 'Princess' phone

When push button phones became available, there was an extra monthly charge for that, too. And for each additional phone in the house. And for having an unlisted phone number. And of course, for long distance phone calls. Caller ID was a physical impossibility: there wasn't a place for one to show up!

Cordless phones didn’t come around until late 70s or early 80s. I can’t remember the exact year: I was too busy having babies. I do remember Shasta dumped our first cordless phone into the toilet. That would make it around 1983. Although the commode had clean water in it at the time, the phone never rang true again…
The range on the first generation of phones was short, just far enough to take a bathroom break in the middle of a long conversation. I certainly don’t miss being tethered to coiled phone cords that invariably tangled. A 20' cord soon became a 3' mass of snarls.

Oh, and if your phone rang and an operator was on the other end, it meant you had a long distance call which were outrageously expensive. It took a long time to come around, but direct dialing and lower long distance rates were great improvements to the phone system.

The greatest, until the internet came around, was the fax line.

It was the 70s when the company I worked for installed facsimile machines. How wonderful, even if the name was a mouthful. Now truck drivers could get oversize and weekend trip permits transmitted and printed out over phone lines. Other uses were soon found for fax machines including sending pictures or important documents from one office to another...or jokes.

Push button dialing was a great improvement, too. No more dialing 9 to get an outside line, then waiting clickity-click-click for the dial to return to its starting point so you could dial the second number. It took forever to dial those seven digits plus nine. It was even worse for long distance calls with the extra three for area code. And if the number you were calling was busy, there was no such thing as a redial button, option to leave a voice mail, or even an option to butt into a conversation with call waiting.

Yes, life was so tough back then.

I, and about a kazillion others, celebrated the arrival of cell phones. The first ones were outrageously expensive to buy outright. And then there were the program options. It cost 45 cents a minute unless you bought a plan. That dropped it down to 35 cents/minute. If you went over your minutes, you paid 45 cents a minute for overage. No refund if you didn’t use all your talk time, either. Rollover minutes hadn’t been created yet.

Don't get me started on texting! There were no alphabet keyboards on the early cell phones. Punch the number 2 to get to the letter C, wait for it to show up, then push 3 twice to get to E. You get the idea or not. I didn’t text until actual keyboards, hard key or virtual, came out. There was an extra price for each message sent or received, too. Some phone plans still have that, but those per text charges seem to be disappearing, too.

Phones will continue to be a part of our lives, I'm sure. Just be happy that what we have now has come so far.

Naked in the Winter Wind

And to see how a solar-powered smartphone saved the day in 1781, read about Evie in Naked in the Winter Wind, first in the time travel series The Fairies Saga.

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How did you picnic when you were a kid?

Picnics have been around since before I was born and, believe me, that was a long time ago. Nowadays, if we go on a picnic, we stop by Fred Meyer and grab an eight-piece pack of fried chicken and a few pints of various salads and maybe some Jo Jo’s (the most awesome super-fries in the world) or find a drive through that strikes our fancy.

Back when I was a youngster, there weren’t any fast food places that I recall and grocery stores didn't carry ready-to-eat food. I wasn’t the one driving around, but I don't recall a deli in our neighborhood in Scottsdale.

Mom made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on store-bought white bread, the fluffy kind that tore to pieces if the peanut butter was laid on too thick. We didn’t have baggies of any sort, either. The sandwiches were wrapped in waxed paper or aluminum foil. We took a few apples, maybe a box of cookies, and a bag of chips. Ah, remember Wampum chips? They were the ‘other’ corn chip; tortilla-style chips weren't available in bags yet. There were two flavors of potato chips: plain and barbecue. Nothing fancy like the gyro or biscuits and gravy flavored ones I saw recently. Times were tough…

 We put the goodies in an honest-to-goodness picnic basket, not a paper bag or cardboard bucket. Ours was made out of wicker — the natural fiber kind, not plastic. The set came complete with Melamine-type plates (sectioned with ridges so the beans didn’t slop over into the potato salad or sandwich). There were probably paper plates available, but we never used them. We shared a pitcher of Kool Aid or were treated to a bottle of soda, always making sure we saved the pop bottles to cash in for Popsicle money.

If we wanted music, we could open the car door and listen to music on the AM radio. No Sirius, iPods or streaming tunes through a smartphone; just crackly receptions and those obnoxious DJs who talked over the beginning and ends of every song. Of course, there were battery-operated transistor radios around. They came out around 1955. Aw, how great to listen to music without power cords. Just make sure you didn't bend or break the antenna!

We sprayed DDT-type bug spray or swatted flies and mosquitoes with a fly swatter, but otherwise were pest free. We didn’t have to worry about being interrupted by phone calls either. There was no such thing as a portable phone, much less cell phones. That’s why it was so important to let someone know where you were going and when you were coming back. Sort of like a flight plan for a day trip on the road. If you weren't back when expected, friends or family called around or came looking for you.

So, how did you picnic when you were a kid? And how do you do it now? For me, it’s a breeze: drive through. Oh, and make sure you ask for extra napkins, just in case your fast food is messier than my mother’s PB & J’s.



What kind of convenience food did they have in Revolutionary War era America? Find out about Evie’s ‘fast food, colonial-style’ in Naked in the Winter Wind, the tale of a 21st century woman who finds herself in a new and improved body in 1780s North Carolina.

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http://bit.ly/1KA7UV5  Nook



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