Are you a 'Senager' too?

WE ALL GET OLD IN THE END – IF WE’RE LUCKY!
I spent all day dealing with computer issues (I broke my dongle and didn't even know I had one!), so I’m taking the easy way out on my blog and sharing this funny email my brother forwarded to me. I looked for the name of its author, but couldn’t find where anyone claimed credit. Wish it had been me (although I’d call the gunshot sounds backfire noises).
Disclaimer: I’m only 65, so it was 50 years ago, not 60, when I was a teenager.

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way
much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they
drink like their fathers.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like
someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the
“Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought
“Nap Time” was a punishment Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small
vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is…”I don’t need to write that down,
I’ll remember it.”

I don’t have gray hair; I have “wisdom highlights!” I’m just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to
transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering
what I came in there for.

Actually I’m not complaining because I am a Senager (Senior teenager)
I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I
don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I
have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and
my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting
pregnant. And I don’t have acne.

Life is great.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t
remember their names.

Now, I’m wondering…did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?

Now, don’t forget to add Sweet and Sassy Valentine to your Kindle Unlimited collection (free) or splurge 99 cents to buy this marvelous box set of TWELVE romances for only 99 cents! 

Visit Alaska in The Biggest Heart Ever, 1 of 12 stories in the set

Just for grins, pop on over to The Authors' Billboard. There's almost always a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card and a FREE book or five. It's a great place to find FREE or bargain e-books (including a couple of mine) every day!

Which comes first?

Which comes first, the idea for a complete story or maybe just for the book’s title? Or maybe it’s an image or a quote that gets the words reaching and stretching for each other, bumbling and fumbling until they tumble together into paragraphs and pages.

There’s no telling what will be the prompt for a new book. For my latest release, these two words popped up and wouldn’t leave me alone until I gave them a story to live in:

Chasing Christmas.

Okay, you two, you’re a title. Now, how about making some sense?

“Mom, remember when I was little and always asked, ‘When’s it going to be Christmas?’ and you’d say, ‘There’s no sense in chasing Christmas. It’ll get here when it’s time.’”

Okay, so now the title makes sense, but I needed more for my historical tale.

And then I saw her. Her eyes told part of the story, but I had to translate it into words, then give her hope and a destiny.

It’s not as easy as it sounds.

“I hate writing, but I love having written,” is ascribed to Dorothy Parker and many other authors. Hmm. I think at some point, all authors feel the same way. I guess the 'love' part overrides the 'hate' part because we keep on doing it.

Enjoy Chasing Christmas, part of Sweet and Sassy Christmas - A Time for Romance, available today! ELEVEN Christmas tales, some sweet, some sassy (or more) by NY Times and USA Today Bestselling and award winning authors. Only 99 cents or free to read with your Kindle Unlimited subscription. 

Writing is only part of an author's job

There is more involved in producing a novel than just creating a Word document and having an editor track down stray quote marks and make a few suggestions.

You have to have an intriguing cover. That means finding the right photo to start with. Not as easy as it sounds, but not a bad way to lose an hour or two, looking over tight abs and fuzzy faces. I found this guy and gal then wrote the story from the image. If you've read any of my books, you know that many of the same folks are in several of the stories. That's what happens with a saga. Luke is totally new to the Fairies Saga scene, but you may remember his co-worker, Benji (The Great Big Fairy). He plays a big part in Luke The Unexpected, although he's not the hero.

If the author hasn't already done so, she might want to align her works with those who write in the same genre. It's hard to launch a single title, but if an author chooses well, she may get in a box set with an author who has a passionate and loyal following. After her readers have devoured her work, they may pop over to your story (since it's in the set and already downloaded). Hope! Hope!

Whether the novel is a single title or in a set, promotions are a necessity and that means creating enticing cards or memes. And then there's tweeting and posting to Facebook groups and sending out newsletters, updating website(s)... Hours every day are spent on these unless you have a PA who can read your mind and knows exactly what you want.

I remember when I first started writing. That's all I did. Write. I had three books (two of them rather lengthy) before I published one. I didn't know the second thing about promoting (the first was a web page; I knew that). Now, I spend more time either promoting OR learning the latest tools needed to promote. And if there's a shortcut, I'm on it!

That being said, I borrowed and modified Jacquie Biggar's blog about our box set. Thanks for the platform, Jacquie! I'll be there when you need me, too. (Follow her at @JacqBiggar)

Where Romance and Suspense Meet- Sweet Heat

 

    And my contribution is... Luke The Unexpected

He'd to anything to get this hot motorcycle mama's attention

(scroll to the bottom for an excerpt, but read about the other books in the set, too!)

  Six NYT and USA Today Bestselling authors come together to bring you romances guaranteed to make your blood run hot! Only 99 cents. Passion, suspense, mystery. Something to suit every reader’s taste. Grab your Kindle reader and curl up with us for an unforgettable escape. Get yours today before it goes away. LIMITED TIME ONLY. 

 ~ Roll the Dice by Mimi Barbour How can she love the guy who shoots her rather than the criminal? This powerful romantic suspense about two detectives with differing agendas, yet after the same rapist, will grab your attention and keep you riveted.  

~ Two Hearts Surrendered by Tamara Ferguson After years of fighting their feelings, Luke Bryant and Kelly Callahan share an enchanting night of passion at her sister’s magical wedding. So when Luke returns home from Iraq as a disheartened wounded warrior, Kelly refuses to give up on him. But will that past night of enchantment be strong enough magic for a military hero to finally surrender his heart to the woman he loves? 

 ~ Slow Dancing by Suzanne Jenkins After a wrong turn in Mobile, Margaret Fisher and her toddler, Ellen are lost. Then, their car breaks down in a small town in front of the garage owned by eligible bachelor, Frank McPherson. Twelve years later, the peaceful life fifteen-year old Ellen has with her stepfather is threatened when after midnight, a stranger appears at the edge of the woods. Jealousy, intrigue, and murder strive to tear them apart in this tale of unrequited love.   ~ Luke, the Unexpected by Dani Haviland Brought together by their love of vintage motorcycles, Luke and Holly have more than just an out of tune Indian Chief to deal with. The spurned Tanya wants revenge, and will stop at nothing to hurt Luke and all those he cares about. 

 ~ Missing: The Lady Said No by Jacquie Biggar The Race is on to find a Killer in the heart of Kentucky horse country Detective Augustus Grant is faced with his most baffling case to date. Well-respected race horse breeder, John Jorgenson, is murdered in his den days before the Kentucky Derby and the list of suspects is growing. Complicating matters, Gus’ ex-girlfriend is the last person to have seen the victim alive. With all the evidence pointing in Becky’s direction, will Gus do his duty? Or follow his heart? 

 ~ Turning Up the Heat by Susan Jean Ricci Malibu O’Hare and Mark Bouchard are headed towards matrimony, until an old adversary sabotages their plans with a devious scheme.  Will the sinister plots continue to succeed, or will love, commitment, and justice prevail?   

Order your copy today!

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Excerpt from Luke The Unexpected by Dani Haviland   

The unexpected hero in threadbare jeans and a white tee shirt turned away, ignoring the oversized teenager with the bad attitude, and offered the sobbing girl his hand. “Are you all right?” he asked.

“Who are you?” Tanya replied, wide-eyed at seeing anyone else on this deserted property. She had made sure she and Tubby would be alone. And, although she was new in this small town, she would have remembered seeing a man this good-looking and broad-shouldered— here or anywhere!

“Hey!” Robbie stepped over and wedged himself in between the blonde damsel in distress and her dark-haired knight.

Luke’s eyes narrowed as he assessed the cad, noted his unsteady stance, then gave him a well-placed hip bump, knocking him to the ground.

“That’s twice you’ve knocked me for a loop,” Robbie said. “You’re a marked man now, Asshole!”

“Marked? Nope.” Luke rolled up the short sleeves on his cotton tee shirt to the top of his shoulders, flexing his muscles slightly to antagonize the chunky man-child even more. “Not marked. No tats on me anywhere. At least, that are visible,” he added with a wink to the stunned femme. “And you got my name wrong, too. It’s Luke. It’s a simple mono-syllabic moniker. It should be easy for you to remember.”

“You won’t be around long enough for…”

Luke had turned his attention back to the young, stunned woman, once again deliberately ignoring the boor.

All bullies were alike. They talked big, yelled loud, pushed and shoved those smaller than themselves, and somehow—without any specialized schooling—managed to excel in the science of intimidation.

“Hey, I’m talking to you…” Robbie tried again to get the newcomer’s attention, this time gripping Luke’s shoulder from behind.

Luke grabbed the grimy paw, squeezed fingers together until he heard a whimper, then spun away, twisting the sweaty arm up and behind the youth until he looked as if he had a duck wing, not an arm.

“Hmm. I’ll bet this is your favorite position. At least, for your victims. I’d call you by your given name, but I really don’t care enough about you to ask for it. And, since I believe you were planning on visiting some distant relative in a neighboring town — or better yet, a distant state — I’ll not bother. Now, the lady and I were just getting acquainted, so skedaddle and take your broken knife with you.”

Luke held out the knife he had surreptitiously filched during the arm-twisting do-si-do.

“But it’s not broke,” Robbie said, reaching for it.

“Well, I’ll be.” Luke flicked opened the switchblade, dropped it to the ground, then used his boot to nudge it on top of a half-buried stone. He stomped down with his size 13 Wellington, separating the six-inch blade from its plastic faux-bone hilt.

“Oh, and don’t even think about complaining to the cops or anyone else. That type of ‘shaving razor’ is illegal. I doubt you’d want to admit to any of your so-called friends that the new guy in town bested you, either.”

“But…but…”

“No, dude, it’s bye, bye. Can you repeat after me? Bye.” Luke paused and sucked in his lips in exaggeration, then exhaled as he enunciated, “Bye,” and walked away, the young blonde clinging to his arm.

 (Was this the right girl for Luke? Download the box set and find out! Oh, and thanks if you do!)

---

 

Order Your Copy Now

First look? Outside appearance can be deceiving

Outside Appearances Appearances can be deceiving. Have you ever met a stunning man or woman, then after speaking with them for a short time, realize that all he or she had going for them were looks? Or just the opposite: someone who you would not think of as attractive—at least on the outside—turns out to be a gorgeous person on the inside.

Well, guess what? It happens with fruit, too.
I was assisting with the local church-sponsored produce giveaway and came upon this ugly fruit. I mean, I’ve seen the citrus with the common name of Ugli fruit, but this one had it beat. And guess what? Just like that ‘not the normal accepted version of attractive’ person you met who is now a spouse or best friend, this Lychee fruit is not what you expect.

The dark brown outside looks like a hedgehog crossed with a horse chestnut hull, but the inside is smooth, pale and sweet. It has a stone/pit, which is inconvenient, but I can deal with it. The flavor reminds me of the tiny bits of pears in canned fruit cocktail, but that's as close as I can get. Smooth texture and sweet, but you need a sharp fingernail or a knife to break open the hull. Enjoy one if you get a chance.

You can’t judge a book by its cover, either, but sometimes you can get a good idea about what’s inside by the blurb. And if it’s written by one of your favorite authors, you’re in for a treat. Here’s your no-calorie treat that’s as pretty on the outside as it is the inside: Tempted by Mr. Wrong by Jacquie Biggar. It’s out for pre-order now, but will be live and ready to read on September 5. How can something so wrong feel so right? Read on and find out. Only 99 cents, too.

TEMPTED BY MR. WRONG

by Jacquie Biggar

Solar Eclipse Mania and Aliens

On Monday, August 21, I’ll be in the path of the total eclipse of the sun. Big deal.
Well, really it is.
I’m sure other areas of the US are going through the same craziness as Oregon is. For over a month now, the front page of the local paper has featured at least one story about the solar eclipse and the impact it will have on the local residents.
Okay, not so much the eclipse itself, but all the eclipse watchers. Highways are predicted to slow to a near standstill between Portland - the nearest major airport – and throughout the Willamette Valley with the influx of over a million visitors. Backyards and open fields will be turned into temporary tent or camper cities (already happening). Public water and septic systems will be overtaxed (not likely). Food and gas supplies will run out or low (no telling). The local economy will boom (hopefully).
Because the traffic is expected to be horrible, garbage pick up has been delayed one day, many local businesses have given employees time off, and non-essential government workers are taking leave (or whatever they call it).
Right now, roads are blocked off in towns around here, not for safety, but to cordon off city blocks for vendors, events, and parties. I don’t know if they planned it this way, but a huge three-day country music extravaganza is going on right now in the Willamette Valley. If these folks came from far away, I doubt they’ll be in a hurry to leave Sunday night. Or if they are, they’re in trouble. I just hope the weight of all these extra people doesn’t cause a major earthquake!

What do people expect out of the eclipse besides a long weekend of partying? Some are saying it will allow the world to see the extra sun (or is it a planet?) that’s been hiding behind the sun.
Here’s a recent picture taken in Dallas, Oregon by Ashleigh Sawicki. Her aunt saw the same thing in Florida as did my friend in Alaska. It’s not exclusive to the United States, either. I hear it’s been sighted in South America and Europe, too. Oh, and if you say it's just the camera, why would someone take a picture of the sun? Had to be something strange to want to take that shot.
I guess we’ll find out what all the noise is tomorrow. Unless the aliens attack or, gasp, they take out our internet.


No matter what happens, enjoy the life you have, and if it needs improving, be the one to make the changes.



In the meantime, here's some great diversion. Romance box sets in different flavors!Feeling like a sweet story? Sweet & Sassy is perfect. Need some suspense? Dangerous Encounters and Risky Encounters. Historical fiction: Rebels, Rogues, and Romantics. Paranormal or time travel? Mystic Lovers. Check them all out! All but Love, Christmas are available to read for free with your Kindle Unlimited account. Don't have KU? Try it for free for 30 days. See Amazon for details.
Follow me on Amazon: http://bit.ly/dhAuthor 

Double Release for SWITCHING IT UP & FORGING LOVE

A SAFE Security series
by Michele Zurlo

Jenny and Scout: Together (at last)!

If you're a fan of some of the characters of The Fairies Saga, my tale of time travelers who bounce back and forth from the 1780s to present day, you're in for a treat. I have another novella for you! Jenny and Scout are grown up!

~Jenny, the sweet young blond psychic and Scout, the half-Cherokee entrepreneur, have been secretly married for years, but have been saving that special part of marriage until they were older. Scout has been away from her for too long, working hard at whatever needed to in order to earn money so his lovely young lady could have a proper home. He didn't figure on being conned before he ever returned to her. Read about their trials and triumphs in Never Too Young, part of Sweet and Sassy: The Best Kind of Romance. This is the only place you'll find this novella (for now). Read it and 8 other sweet romances for only 99 cents or read for free with your Kindle Unlimited subscription. Oh, and please leave a review. Authors love being read and reviewed. It keeps us pumping out more stories to share.

Here's more about the other books in the box set:

(Official genre: sweet romance)

Do you sigh when you see young lovers embrace? Does your heart sing to know that romance is in the air? Whether it's love at first sight, affairs of the heart, or a second chance to get it right – our wonderful collection, featuring 9 uplifting love stories, is the perfect place for you to find that springtime magic.

It’s all the sweeter when the Magic Makers are NY Times & USA Today best-selling authors who have chosen these sweet and sassy stories to help you enjoy your happy-ever-after.

BIG GIRLS DON’T CRY, by Mimi Barbour, NYT and USA Today bestselling author: Big girls don't cry because no one is listening.

HEAL MY HEART, Mona Risk, NYT and USA Today bestselling author: With the help of a baby girl and four little boys, a handsome doctor may teach her the true meaning of love.

TURNAGAIN LOVE, Nancy Radke, USA Today bestselling author: Can she love a man who keeps trying to get her to go away?

MEND ME MEND MY HEART, Suzanne Jenkins, Multi-Award-winning author: Dating again has never crossed Charlotte's mind, until she takes a fall at the cemetery where her husband is buried bringing the handsome caretaker to her rescue.

SUMMER LOVIN’, Jacquie Biggar, USA Today bestselling author: Can two mismatched lovers find a way past their mistakes?

A KISS UPON A STAR, Tamara Ferguson, Multi-Award-winning author: When fate gives Tim and Emily a second chance, can an air force veteran break through the hardened heart of a rising star?

THE MONARCH AND THE MOM, Leanne Banks, NYT and USA Today bestselling author: A mix-up in the lab means the father of Sophie's baby is a prince. Can they turn this royal surprise into a forever love?

TOMBOY BRIDE, Alicia Street, USA Today bestselling author: Will he ever see her as a grown woman?

NEVER TOO YOUNG, Dani Haviland, USA Today bestselling author: Their secret marriage was strong enough to withstand deceptions and ruffians, but would time do them in?

Purchase now for #99cents http://amzn.to/2t5pbYs

Life is about choices

Life is about choices.
Really. It is.
Not only small choices, such as what should I wear to work today?
Or bigger ones such as: Should I even go to work today?
Or even bigger ones: Should I tell the boss to shove it, sell everything I own, buy a Harley Davidson, and tour Route 66? Without a GPS?
Okay. Maybe today isn’t the day to make decisions that extreme, so let’s do this instead.
Pick at least one of these romance box sets and live a life that isn’t yours vicariously. You won’t cause any harm. Or go bankrupt. Or get lost. But you're sure to fall in love. At least once.
Would you like to snuggle with a detective who also happens to be a werewolf? Or maybe a reborn Egyptian god? Check out Mystic Lovers.
Did the movie (or old TV show) Wild, Wild West get you itching to share a saddle with secret agent James West? Check out Angel in Aces Wild, part of Rebels, Rogues, and Romantics.
How about suspense, murders, living on the edge, trying to stay one step ahead of the bad guys, all with some hot romance on the side? If this is for you, check out Dangerous Encounters and Risky Encounters, both box sets with romantic suspense that will keep you gripping the edge of your Kindle.
Are contemporary romances more your speed? From puppies to young brides and…and…well, more themes than I have room for here. Kiss Me, Thrill Me, Sweet & Sassy, and Unforgettable Romances are great (and well-endowed with loads of stories).
Tired of choices?
Heck, why not make time to read them all? After all, the prices are fantastic!
All these box sets are only 99 cents each and also available on Amazon to read for free with your Kindle Unlimited subscription.
P.S. If you like to live and love out of this time era, check out my stories in Rebels, Rogues, and Romantics; Mystic Lovers, Sweet and Sassy, and Kiss Me, Thrill Me. I think you'll be glad you did!