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Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Is a sense of humor hereditary?
I know a person’s general body shape and coloring is hereditary, but is the compulsion to bring levity to a conversation or situation caused by genetics or environment? After spending just a few minutes with the half-sister I had never met, I’m beginning to believe it’s genetic.
We were reared by different people, had different colors of eyes and body shapes because we had different mothers, but we both had a boisterous silliness that our mutual friend spotted right off the bat. My second daughter doesn’t look a thing like me, but the same situation occurred when we met new people who only knew me. “She has to be your daughter. You don’t look anything alike, but that sense of humor…”
I really don’t see any reason to suppress it. Even when I’m writing romance novellas, the urgency to give a situation a humorous spin is unstoppable. Here’s an excerpt from Three Are One, part of Sweet and Sassy Brides box set, released today. The mother of a deceased (and very dishonorable) soldier is in complete denial that her son has died.
Forsythe pulled the sheet back, exposing the head and shoulders of the corpse, the cloth bandage disguising the fact that the back of the soldier’s skull had been blasted away by his 9 mm service revolver.
Heath and the corporal were at her heels, ready to catch her when she passed out, but they weren’t needed. She did grasp the edge of the table, though, her knees buckling briefly.
“He did such a good job of finding a doppelganger. This man looks so much like my Butch.”
“Ma’am,” Forsythe said, “they matched the fingerprints, too. This is your son.”
“Hmph! If it was my son, he’d have six toes on his right foot. I seriously doubt any body double would be able to duplicate that!”
She stepped to the end of the table and grasped the end of the sheet.
Heath and the corporal rushed to either side of her.
She pulled the shroud off dramatically, took one look, then said, “Oh, shit!” and fainted.
“Some people just won’t believe what you say, no matter what,” the corporal said. “Now what’ll we do?”
“I have smelling salts right here,” Forsythe said, patting his chest pocket. “Do you want to give her a minute?”
Heath looked side to side, lips pursed in frustration, hoping for inspiration. “Yes, wait a minute. Cover him up again, then let’s get her out of here before we rouse her. I don’t want her fainting all over again.”
“Ma’am. Ma’am,” Forsythe said, wafting the ammonia-filled snifter under her nose. “You have to wake up now.”
Her eyes fluttered, then popped open and shut again, squeezed tight against reality.
“Mrs. Wadsworth,” Heath said, his voice stern and uncompromising. “You have to get up. We’ll have a driver take you to your hotel. I just talked to your husband. He’s expecting you.”
The woman was feigning unconsciousness, her eyes and lips wrinkled as she forced them closed.
“Well, then, I guess I’ll just have to take you to the post medical center. Or would you rather go to the hospital in Anchorage?”
Still no reply.
“All right, then,” Heath said. “Post medical center it is. They don’t have any private rooms, and you’ll probably have to wait in the lobby for a couple hours before the medic can see you. Still, it’s clean and better than spending the rest of the afternoon in a mortuary. Come on, Corporal—you grab her legs and I’ll get her shoulders.”
“Don’t you dare!” she screeched, sitting up like someone had poured ice water on her head.
“Sorry about that, ma’am,” Heath said. “I couldn’t let you stay lying out here. And I truly am sorry for your loss…”
“Oh, shut up.”


(Read more in the box set of nine stories in Sweet and Sassy Brides or as a single in Three Are One)


A good sense of humor will get you through tough times better than a bucket of beer. And there's no chance of a DUI with it, either! Dani Haviland

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Who's the mama?


I’m the mama because I create people for my books, color their bodies and their personalities, and decide where they work and live. Every mama wants her children to have friends. And readers are my babies’ best friends.

My first baby (Naked in the Winter Wind) came to me in 2008. I wondered what would it be like if I could interact with fictional characters, something like those in Outlander? The idea (okay, obsession) wouldn’t leave, so I started putting pen to paper so to speak, thinking that by typing it out, I would quiet the thoughts. Nope. What it did was give my thoughts fertile ground for germination, runners now able to spread to new genre territories, a forest of tales from Alaska to Australia, involving everyone from cops to kids, heat levels from sweet to saucy. I was hooked on writing. Being a fertile mama to dozens of babies.
The rest, as they say, is history and a rapidly expanding backlist.
I grew rather fond of the characters and some of their props so created a series, The Fairies Saga.
One of my next books out in that series, TIME IN A LITTLE BLUE BOTTLE, involves a few very colorful folks. I didn’t want this story to get stagnant, so I invited Elvis and a vampire, a pickpocket and Mark Twain to come by and liven up the party. It's a blast! Oh, in case location makes a difference to you, it starts out in London and winds up in Australia. Enjoy the ride and the companions!

While you’re waiting for Time in a Little Blue Bottle to be released (June 1), check out a sweet stand-alone romance based in Oregon. BE MY ANGEL is also part of UNFORGETTABLE WEDDINGS, a bundle of eight romances (all heat levels) available now for 99 cents or read for free with your Kindle Unlimited account.


Friday, April 20, 2018

Where did the term 420 come from (and what does it mean)?


Anyone who has ever been a teenager and attended public schools probably already knows that 420 refers to marijuana. It’s legal now, either medical or recreational or both, in over half the states in the nation, so I suppose it no longer needs a code name or to be spoken of in hushed whispers.
 In Oregon, there are green cross placarded dispensaries all over the place, advertising daily specials on placards out front. Or you can grow it at home in limited quantities. I never saw that one coming in the 70s!
Today, April 20, is also a 420 and the unofficial holiday, the date to ‘light up’ for partakers all over the world - legally, of course.
It all started with a date. Not a guy and gal going to the movies sort of date, but a ‘meet me after school’ date. Five guys in high school in 1971 had discovered a map to a supposed abandoned crop of cannabis near where they lived in California. The group, called the Waldos, set up a time to meet after football practice to obtain and take care of the precious weed. ‘420’ actually meant 4:20, the time to meet at their designated hookup spot in the center of campus.
Pretty soon, whenever the term ‘420’ was used, it meant either ‘are you stoned,’ ‘do you want to get stoned,’ or ‘do you have any weed,’ depending on how it was said.
There’s more to the story which involves The Grateful Dead, David Crosby, backstage passes, and housesitting, but bottom line is, the term 420 started as a meet up time for five high school guys.
Oh, and by the way, the abandoned marijuana crop turned out to be a ruse, a ‘fooled ya!’ joke by one of the Waldo five’s brother. Now, the California residents don’t have to go on an adventure for their party products. Of course, since they’re in their 60s, they’re just as likely to be seeking it out for pain relief as stress relief.

No matter where you live, a great way to distract yourself and ‘get high’ is by sharing the life and adventure of someone else by reading a great book. Or Eight. Check out Unforgettable Suspense, a box set of eight thrillers with a romantic edge, some edgier than others. Only 99 cents, or free to read with your Kindle Unlimited account. 

Monday, March 19, 2018

Life Lesson from a Pitbull (Pit Bull)

Today my post is by my granddaughter, Kira. She wrote this two years ago when she was twelve. I think I have a legacy, an heir who feels that same compulsion to write on random subjects. Kira is passionate about her two pet pitbulls. I left this as she wrote it (it should be pit bull) but other than bulleting her points, this is all hers. Read on:
The Life of an Abused Pitbull
I am a survivor. I never lost my heart. They tried to take it and nearly ripped it apart, but I refused to break. I am not as weak as those men. They would beat me daily, but I never bit their hands. That’s what makes me different from the men who turned on me. They are the ruthless killers and that’s something I’d never be.
• There will be people who judge you just by how you look. They won’t give you a chance, but don’t be discouraged — just wag your tail and give all the love in your heart. Know that some are ignorant but love them anyway.
• It’s true that pitbulls grab and hold on, but what they grab and hold onto and not let go of is not your arm but your heart.
• If you think pitbulls heads are big, then why can’t you know how big their hearts are?
• I can’t count how many friends have betrayed me, lied to me, used me, but I can count the ones who will never do any of these things: my pitbulls.
• I am terribly afraid of pitbulls. They always give me face washes when they’re not needed and they will always steal your heart. They have a way of making you share your food and dessert, but I have never been afraid of being hurt by one.
• Keep calm and hug your pitbull!
P – rotective
I – ntuitive
T – ender
B – eautiful
U – nconditional
L – oyal and
L – oving
As far as her Nana goes, I have a new box set available today! Unforgettable Suspense - Danger and Trouble has EIGHT stories sure to keep you flipping the pages on your Kindle. Check out a quickie YouTube preview here: https://youtu.be/4DT3OOFbQRs 

Full of fire and beauty, but this hot set won't bite, either!
(Disclaimer: I know some dogs are mean, but it's seldom the critter's fault. I'm so glad a twelve-year-old could see that there is potential good everywhere)

Thursday, February 22, 2018

Are you a 'Senager' too?

WE ALL GET OLD IN THE END – IF WE’RE LUCKY!
I spent all day dealing with computer issues (I broke my dongle and didn't even know I had one!), so I’m taking the easy way out on my blog and sharing this funny email my brother forwarded to me. I looked for the name of its author, but couldn’t find where anyone claimed credit. Wish it had been me (although I’d call the gunshot sounds backfire noises).
Disclaimer: I’m only 65, so it was 50 years ago, not 60, when I was a teenager.
I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way
much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they
drink like their fathers.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like
someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.
I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.
I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the
“Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought
“Nap Time” was a punishment Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small
vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is…”I don’t need to write that down,
I’ll remember it.”
I don’t have gray hair; I have “wisdom highlights!” I’m just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to
transfer me to someone I can’t understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age “Getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering
what I came in there for.
Actually I’m not complaining because I am a Senager (Senior teenager)
I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I
don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I
have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and
my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting
pregnant. And I don’t have acne.
Life is great.
I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t
remember their names.
Now, I’m wondering…did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?
Now, don’t forget to add Sweet and Sassy Valentine to your Kindle Unlimited collection (free) or splurge 99 cents to buy this marvelous box set of TWELVE romances for only 99 cents! 
One of TWELVE great stories in this set
Visit Alaska in The Biggest Heart Ever, 1 of 12 stories in the set

Just for grins, pop on over to The Authors' Billboard. There's almost always a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card and a FREE book or five. It's a great place to find FREE or bargain e-books (including a couple of mine) every day!