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Thursday, April 14, 2016

Politics Made Simple...Sort of

Years ago, Ann Landers gave a simplified lesson in economics.

Or was it politics?

She was asked to explain the difference between communism, socialism, and fascism. Here’s her timeless explanation:
Ann Landers politics
Socialism: You have two cows. Give one cow to your neighbor.
Communism: You have two cows. Give both cows to the government, and they might give you some of the milk.
Fascism: You have two cows. You give all of the milk to the government, and the government sells it.
Nazism: You have two cows. The government shoots you and takes both cows.
Anarachism: You have two cows. Keep both of the cows, shoot the government agent and steal another cow.
Capitalism: You have two cows. Sell one cow and buy a bull.
Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government makes you take harmonic lessons.

And then there’s Havilandism: You find a time portal and travel back in time. You 'borrow' a cow for a year, being careful not to be caught, tried, and hanged as a thief; introduce Bessie to a friendly bull for a night of responding to natural urges; return the calf back to the original owner, saying the fairies changed it; keep the cow and use her milk to make cheese, selling it as having magical properties; then finally, leave instructions for your heirs to invest in General Electric, American Telephone and Telegraph, gold and silver.

Life is so much easier when we know what tomorrow brings, when we only have to worry about each other and wayward cows, not governments. A letter and video from the past might help, too. It made a big difference to James and Leah in Aye, I am a Fairy, the second book in my time travel series The Fairies Saga.

But, wherever you are, and whatever politics you have to live with, make the best of it. And have a slice of cheese with it.

Dani Haviland

Aye, I am a Fairy Buy on Amazon